Thursday Thirteen

1. The Inferno by Dante Alighieri

Abandon all hope!
Looks like everyone’s down here.
Omigod – the Pope!

2. Metaphysics by Aristotle

Substance has essence.
Form adds whatness to thatness.
Whatsits have thinghood.

3. Kama Sutra by Vatsayana

Advice for those in
a difficult position.
First, be flexible.

4. Ivanhoe by Sir Walter Scott

‘Who dat fine knight be?’
asked the saucy Moorish wench.
‘Dat be Ivan, ho.’

5. Pride and Prejudice by Jane Austen

Single white lass seeks
landed gent for marriage, whist.
No parsons, thank you.

6. De Revolutionibus Orbium Caelestium by Nicolaus Copernicus

Guessus whatibus?
Earthus orbits the Sunnum!
Ptolemy doofus.

7. Brave New World by Aldous Huxley

Euphoric drugs, sex,
cloning, the past forgotten.
So what else is new?

8. Frankenstein by Mary Shelley

A mad scientist
creates a ghastly Monster
who just wants a hug.

9. Philosophiae Naturalis Principia Mathematica by Isaac Newton

Cherry blossoms fall
with Force equal to Mass times
Acceleration.

10. Waiting for Godot by Samuel Beckett

Act I. ‘It’s hopeless.
My boots don’t fit. Where is God?’
Act II. The same thing.

11. Gulliver’s Travels by Jonathon Swift

Thus I was first great,
then small, and much vexed to learn
that size does matter.

12. Wuthering Heights by Emily Bronte

Wild. Strange. A bit damp.
Heathcliff waits for Cathy’s ghost.
Women. Always late.

13. Little Women by Louisa May Alcott

Snowdrops hang like tears.
Shy, sweet, saintly Beth has died.
One down, three to go.

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