As Julian and I were walking to the library on Monday we were offered a flyer advertising a seminar, or talk, or something about happiness. When we got inside Julian said, as if to the girl who was still outside, “I hate to tell you, but I’m pretty much always happy.” I didn’t respond in words, but I thought “Jeepers, I’m almost never happy.”
It’s not quite true that I’m not happy, I’m actually very happy with the things in my life and I don’t think I’d want to change any of it, except perhaps to slow it down. Uni is good, work is alright, marriage is good, as far as life goes I’m very fortunate. I think it’s just that everything comes at once so even the good things there’s no time to enjoy them because I’m continually moving on to the next thing. So then, if something goes mildly awry I can’t cope because I barely had time to enjoy the good things, let alone deal with the difficult or complicated or unpleasant things. However, I think that it’s not all that bad anymore either, perhaps I just go through sad phases of not coping and now I’m coming out of one because I’m feeling quite content with life… perhaps that’s a bad thing because it might mean there’s something looming on the horizon to challenge me and make me grow as a person (I suppose it’s unfair to call that a “bad thing”, but challenges are often a “bad” event). Whatever, life is good!
We spoke about hope and heaven in bible study tonight. It was very cool. There was a time when saw heaven as something very ethereal, all cloudy and floaty. Now I like to think that it will be something quite tangible, a life like this one, but untainted by sin and united with God. I think the bible speaks of such a life, “a new heaven and a new earth”, where we will be given new bodies. It’s very exciting and certainly something to hope for. If even I (with my glass-half-empty disposition) can be happy in this life, how beautiful an eternal life in God’s presence will be.
Happiness is a think that I don’t think we should strive for. I think it comes as a by-product of living a life obedient to God. Happiness is also fleeting; it is situational. I strive for the joy instead.
In a way I agree with you. Many people say “As long as you’re happy…”, which I don’t think is right, but I think the difference I’m talking about is not being unhappy, not being malcontent, not being depressed. There’s so much to be thankful for, I don’t know why I spend so much time in a pit of despair, even while I’m trying to live for God.
Then happiness, in my opinion, is not your problem. Life is robbing you of your joy. One can be unhappy but still joyful. The joy comes with the assurance that when you scale back everything you have, you still have communion with your creator. At that point, you discover that you really have EVERYTHING. Still, sometimes life distracts us. When that happens, I repeatedly call on God to remind me of what is REALLY important. That is what I do, anyway.