Well, uni goes back tomorrow. I’ve always loved studying and learning things. I liked school where I got to learn and see my friends. Uni is a little different. My hubby liked uni for the same reasons that I liked school. I’m not looking forward to uni as much though. The holidays have been excellent and I know that I don’t get tired of the holidays as much as when I was at school because I’m able to entertain myself in a lot more ways; I can drive and see people without depending on my parents. I also don’t have many friends at uni. It’s not that I’m a loner (entirely); I’m friendly to people and there’s people I sit with at lectures but I don’t hang out with them at other times. Maybe because I’m not doing the same degree. Maybe because I live far away so at the end of the day I jump on a bus and go home. Maybe because I feel like I can’t relate to them as much in some ways because I have a very different lifestyle to them. They live in college, roll out of bed and come to uni but I travel to get there and I have a husband and worry about feeding us properly and working and stuff like that. I’ve figured out how to teach myself things (with a little help from others) so with the lack of friends I just can’t get excited about uni. I’m also catching up on that second year class so I won’t be doing classes with the people I did last year because they will be doing the third year stuff that I’ll have to do next year.
I’m also a little concerned because my emotions have been really out of sync lately. They are all over the place and I can’t seem to control them. This afternoon I got sad for about 30 minutes and nearly cried because my favourite guitar pick was missing. It won’t be very good if I’m at uni and I have to walk out of lectures because I start bawling. Or if I get so angry I lose it and punch someone. I haven’t punched anyone for several years so that probably won’t happen but crying might.
I think I’m going to sell some of the old textbooks that I haven’t looked at in a year. I have a thing about hanging on to them but now I don’t buy new ones because I don’t want to spend the money. It would be far more profitable to sell the old ones and buy new ones that are more relevant to my field of study. I have a next to new physics text book that was probably bought for about $120 and I’ll never do uni physics again! When I say next to new I mean I’ve probably opened it twice!
Better get some sleep before the big day!
Blogging emo: anxious 